Life includes all we experience. The idea of anything in life being right or wrong doesn’t necessarily make it so. Think about our laws. Man-made laws are made up laws (and YES, it is in our best interest to follow them or otherwise face the consequences). Even universal laws are only discernable relative to our current ability to understand our experience of them. And, understanding, along with meaning making, are part of the human experience. It is what our minds do, neither of which are right nor wrong.
Grief isn’t wrong, thinking a lot isn’t wrong, feeling deeply isn’t wrong, anger isn’t wrong, empathy isn’t right or wrong, joy isn’t right, strength isn’t right, winning isn’t right. While we naturally want things and experiences, and prefer being in certain moods and emotional states, the idea of any of them being right or wrong is a judgement. And most of our judgments are made reactively, influenced by our past experiences and/or social conditioning. And we have the ability to choose to, or not to, stick with our initial judgments.
I’m not suggesting it is wrong to make things wrong, but inviting you to become aware of how automatically doing so makes you feel, and to notice the impact that feeling has on you.
As a highly sensitive gal, I’ve struggled with not making my sensitivity wrong for over half a century! Recently I was experiencing a high level of overwhelm and was feeling wrong for it, shoulding on myself for not being able to handle more, which only intensified the effects of the overwhelm and affected my ability to get more done, let alone rest. I knew I needed rest, but the judgment of needing it was stopping me from doing it.
Noticing how my judgment of overwhelm was affecting me, I recognized I was now at choice. I could continue choosing to make the experience of feeling overwhelmed wrong, I could make it right by justifying it, or I could simply call it as it is and not cast any vote on the experience of overwhelm at all – which I choose to do.
Soon after making that choice, a feeling of ease fell over me. The physical and emotional tension subsided. I was able to continue doing what needed to be done, and then rest… truly rest! Then get up the next day, do more and then rest more.
What if the next time you felt something, all you did was acknowledge the feeling and resisted the temptation to vote on it? Or if you recognized that you automatically did just vote and exercised your right not to? What happens to the sensation of the feeling when you do that?
Just a thought… one that helped me, so I thought I’d share with you.